bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

(via allergic-alien)

"I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone."
- To be good, to save nothing   (via bdtn)

(via beejkidd)

queendecuisine:

truyorkbity:

AvaLynn was attacked by another student on the school playground. We are fighting for answers and for greater supervision at school.

My friend Lacey Harris’s 5 year old daughter was brutalized by another child on the playground at school this week, in Pascagoula, Mississippi. Her face is swollen and bruised beyond recognition, and the only thing the school can tell her is that they “are investigating”

This sweet little 5 year old girl is terrified to return to school. She is in pain and she has been MAIMED. This needs IMMEDIATE media attention. The school and local news are ignoring the mother’s and loved ones’ cries for help. This family needs justice for what has been done to their poor little angel, and not just to be swept under the rug, as the school district is attempting to do. PLEASE shine some light on this situation and force school administration and news media to get some answers!

The mother has started a GoFundMe page to request help for paying medical bills and legal fees, as it looks as though she’s going to have to pursue this route in order to get any justice at all for her little girl. Please, please, share this link on your page. Even if people are unable to donate, please just help us get the word out on what is going on with this poor family.

This is really heartbroken for me and extremely hard to look at.

This is the link to Ava’s donation page.
Please donate and share and PRAY!
God bless you all!

http://www.gofundme.com/doid6w

This is absolutely outraging. My heart hurts looking at this.

(via beejkidd)

blastortoise:

it’s so weird that people are shaming Beyonce for being sexual during her performance when literally in the speech in flawless says “We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are." Like how do you miss the point that bad

(Source: blastortoise-chan, via beejkidd)

Conversation I overheard at work

Customer: How can you do this job (stripping)? Isn't it degrading having to take your clothes of for money?

Dancer: You're the guy that just forked out $300 for me to take my clothes off. Isn't it degrading having to pay that much before a girl who looks like me will take her clothes for you?